It's been a while since I felt like I was backsliding. Today, it occurred to me that I am backsliding a little. So much has been happening at once that I have not been as disciplined in my food choices and more importantly, in my food planning and discipline. With the baby being born, the play going on, getting over that horrid stomach flu, and dealing with a few things that I'm in "waiting" mode over to see how they turn out, I have just been on automatic pilot and that really hasn't been working. I've also done a little stress eating. I've discovered that I rationalize "stress food" by calling it "reward food" in my mind. Like, "you've had a stressful two weeks. It's okay to have that cookie your nice neighbors brought you."
Staying healthy and keeping the weight off is a commitment that takes more of a desire to really eat healthier than it does to have a desire just to eat what is easiest and tastes the most like comfort food in times of stress. I mean a carrot just doesn't say "comfort food". So.... today I realized I still have a ways to go. I have to figure out how to eat correctly during times of high stress. I also can't start thinking, "well I've been losing weight, so I can have this or that once in a while" unless it's really only once in a while.
The daughter and new baby Kayson come home tomorrow. Thank you to my sweetie/husband for going through the house and lysoling every room, changing out all the bedding, and wiping down doorknobs, etc. for little Kayson's welcome home tomorrow. We're all a little nervous about bringing him home since everyone just got over the crud. We're also hoping to hear some positive news about some job interviews. These are tough times. Those of us with jobs are blessed to have them. My son's school is cutting 30 positions thanks to all the cuts to education funding this year. He was a first year teacher and got rifted for other teachers with seniority. It's happening everywhere. Just one more thing I stress about as a mom.
On the positive side... we have a new addition to the family. My sons and their wives have been helping out with Rello while I'm at work and making their sister's recovery much easier as she rests. Thank you! I love that my children help each other and do things together. It was also nice having them all there to see the play. They humor their mom. :D For Mother's Day Ann made me the cutest desk pen holder that included pictures of her and Jas and little Maddi. Jeremy and Stacy found some old books (I collect them) and some classics that they knew I would love (and I do). Mandy gave me a picture frame collage with pictures of their family and it sits proudly on the piano in our living room. Each gift was thoughtful and useful, and personal. The best gift on every Mother's Day is my kids. Of course, the husband gets some credit there too. :D He flies out tomorrow and I will miss him so much.
Today I grabbed an Activa Yogurt for breakfast (110) and had the Special K Crackers for my morning snack (120 calories). For lunch I had the Healthy Choice Vegetable Soup (200 calories) and a little after lunch I had 1 cup of Fruit Loops (because I found them under my desk from where I poured a bowl out for a prop in the play). It was obviously an unplanned, pointless calorie snack (100 calories). After school I had a can of 100 calorie pears to get some more fiber in.
For dinner I cooked finger steaks (4oz.) 200 calories and some mac and cheese for Rello. I had 1/2 cup (160 calories). 1/2 cup of stuffing w/broccoli (I added the frozen broccoli to the stuffing mix and cooked it) for the husband (200). And I had 1/2 cup of sautéed mushrooms and fresh spinach (30). Pretty much I had a 600 calorie dinner. I suppose that would have been fine since I had a light lunch and breakfast, but then there were the cookies our gracious neighbors brought. Not one, but two neighbors. I had 3. I know.... cookie weakness. So add another 240 calories to my day.
Total Calories for Today=1500 :{
If 1400 calories maintains my weight then obviously 1500 adds to it unless I'm going to go out and do some extra exercising to work the extra off. I didn't. I just did my normal night exercises that help tone, but I'm pretty sure I didn't work off the extra 100 calories. Now the husband did all the house cleaning, mowed the lawn, took Rello to the park, and went into town for an interview, so he could have had the three cookies. He had two and more than worked them off.
I could be sad today, but it's a happy day in spite of my eating weaknesses. I am blessed with a great family. I have a job I love. I have a new grandbaby and my sweetie is home. I'll just suck it up and get back on track tomorrow.
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