Pick a Monday.... any Monday and make it happen

So if you want to make a change.... pick or date or day. That's step 2. Of course step 1 is to identify the change. Then be real, but don't be wimpy. I have to buckle down. With my back hurt and my husband spoiling me way too much this year, I'm getting plumper than the Thanksgiving turkey! Not cool. Especially after doing so well last year. Then I have days like today.... We wake up in a nice hotel with complimentary breakfast of course and I think I'm doing well because I just eat a bowl of cereal, but then we eat out for lunch- salmon, loaded mashed potatoes, and oh marionberry pie! Sitting around watching volleyball games isn't exactly working out either. I did think about going swimming. Then didn't.Who wants to buy a swimsuit when you're fat. Kind of a catch22. I can't lie though.... it's been a fun trip so far-- minus eating too much. Oh.... and they had a candy shop across the street.

So the drive up here was gorgeous (until it got dark of course). The fall colors and northern mountains are beautiful. Coming through McCall and seeing the lake there was awesome and brought back memories of visiting Tom and Inga. The weather was pretty nice too. It's been kind of rainy today, but I thought it'd be really cold up here and it really isn't. We headed out early to watch I.F. play first. They were awesome. Visited with some people from there that we haven't seen for a while and I got to talk to Hayley and Coach Johnson who used to coach with me. All those girls have grown up so much and Hayley is a senior.... hard to believe. Then watched the Parma girls. They didn't fare so well, but it was still fun to see them and Greg brought cookies he made for them. Kylie liked that! Then it was lunch, shopping, and back to the gym to watch Eagle play. They also didn't do so well.

After that we headed back to the room then my cousin Susan came and took us to dinner. We ate at the resort on the lake. It was very nice. We had a table that overlooked the lake and it was so good to see her and visit with her. We used to be so close and over the years we had just stopped talking much since we live apart. How sad. It didn't take long to fall into old comforts and laughter though. We all sat staring at menus than one of us said, "I can't read this. I didn't bring my reading glasses," and we all started laughing. Susan pulled out hers and we all passed them around. I still couldn't see so they ordered for me. The food was very good and Greg said it was best I couldn't see the price. I would tell you what I ate, but I couldn't read it or pronounce it.
It was quite the swanky place, but the best part was simply talking and revisiting memories and catching up to where we are now. And... she reminded me of who we are. We are strong Tucker women. We are independent, loud, opinionated, and A.D.D. She had no idea how much I needed to hear that that was normal. We also laughed about old age, menopause, PMS, and unable to read anything directly in front of our face. We solved several world problems, discussed law, and marriage. We could have talked all night but we had to get back to the games.
Parma won their night game and Eagle lost their second so they're out and we will head home in the morning. We may stay to watch I.F. play in the morning then go. We are going to stop and see Stephen in Lewiston. We want to see all the drive this time and take pictures along the way. We will also enjoy just being together. That's the plan.

We're stopping at Lewiston on the way home to see Stephen.

Forgot to mention the scaries....

So I had a heck of a time getting in for my annual mammogram (which is a few months past due) and the only time they had would require me to get a sub for an hour during the work day. So Saturday I thought about canceling it so I didn't miss work. I decided I would, but of course that meant waiting till Monday morning to call because no one is there on the weekend. Plus, I had already scheduled my sub, but that is easy to cancel too. So we had lots going on Saturday and I spaced it. No worries. I thought I'd cancel the sub Sunday (has to be within 24 hours) and the appointment Monday morning.
Well I came home on Sunday and I swear it was completely nonexistent in my mind. That night I was folding some laundry I needed for work (forgive me for folding on Sunday) and listening to the news to see if our garden would freeze and Greg and I were talking. Then it was kind of weird. We stopped talking just as there was a pause between commercial and the news and me folding. It was like I was waiting for someone to talk. Then the commercial said, "Get your mammograms. Don't wait." Something very close to that. Greg and I both looked at each other and started laughing. I said, "Okay, I get the message." When I got to school one of the teachers told me I better check and make sure I was covered for the hour because some people hadn't been able to get subs. I checked, but I knew before I ever looked that I would be. I knew I needed to get my mammogram done. God knows me so well he knows he has to send it loud and clear.
So I went and here we go again. We know it's the same spot as last time and the chances are very high that it is still just a cyst but there will be the ultrasound follow up and possible biopsy. Because of the clear message to go-- I'm a little more nervous about the outcome this time, but I also know that Lord knows me and watches over little ol' unimportant me. It may just be that he knows my mind does not rest until it's over. Then I don't stress it for a year. :)
Then this morning as I was headed out the door I stopped and thought I'd better check my purse for my keys because I still haven't found my house key (Mandy:) and I didn't want to be locked out. Sure enough. It wasn't in my purse. I went back in, rummaged around. Found Greg's set. Checked my purse again. Nothing. Wasted a full minute then headed out. On the way to work was an accident. It was bad. Cars off, smoke, rollovers. The cops weren't even there yet because it had just happened right before my turn. If I had been just 60 seconds earlier, I could have easily been involved. When I got to work, I reached in my purse and there were my other set of keys. There's more to that story, but mostly, I know I was being watched over.
I also know we can live our lives walking on glass. Stressing everything. We have the love of our families, our friends, and the Lord. We have this awesome journey called life. I'm in a gypsy mood again so be warned.... my wheels are turning. :)

I love my family and I love fall.

Moments That Matter Most

Scaries and Finding Balance

So I seem to fight two never-ending battles that I am going to declare non-battles. Yes, you can do that. They're just life. To view them as battles denotes my lack of understanding.... until now. I need to quit qualifying them as something to do on my to-do list. They are .....balance and dieting. They are natural parts of life.

Balance. It's not rocket scientist material-- all work and no play makes Jeremy a sick boy. Sorry Jer. You are your mother's son and I had to throw that out there. Another chip off the block...... All work and no play (family time) also makes Jason a sick boy (tired, drained, etc.) I'm picking on the boys today Mandy-- you're off the hook-- even though you left me .... :D I feel responsible for modeling the "push it" behavior. Squeeze in one more thing. Be the best. Do your best. Put others first. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. I believe those principles, all of them... but we have to find balance in them. I have THE BEST children God could have given me. I mean that SO MUCH, which is why I bring up specifics. :D We can all learn from it.... .which is what this blog is about.

Balance. I have a great video I'll put on here that pretty much says it all and the "extra" stuff that we are doing is mostly all "good" stuff, but we have to council together as couples, families, and extended families, to trim back that list if it becomes too much. I remember when I went to work outside of the home, but first, let me talk about the work inside of the home. It was THE HARDEST and MOST REWARDING WORK I HAVE EVER DONE. Some days were very long being married to a farmer. Sometimes I felt like a single parent. And... it's pretty hard to say, "okay, I've been home with them all day, now it's your turn." That's when I first started understanding the significance of "balance" and so did my sweetie.

He could see that I needed a kid break and alone time (which he got on the tractor) and I could see that he needed down time and appreciation (which he got from me). He also needed time with the kids. That is why it's so important to council and plan together and discuss these very things in a very unselfish way. Thank goodness he is unselfish. He could tell when I needed him to be all about the kids when he got home and I could tell when he had had a very long day at work and needed extra pampering. It wasn't always perfect. Sometimes I cried with the three little ones on days I felt like I wasn't getting it all done and they were having a bad day too, but what kept me going was our common goals and dreams and our unselfish love and respect for each other. Our third party coach-- The Lord-- was also quite helpful. :)

When we moved and the youngest child entered school, I went back to work to support the husband as he went through college. By support I mean both economically and emotionally. I had to believe in his dreams. I had to be his cheerleader. He had to believe in mine (going to work and school too) and be my cheerleader. He also worked on the farm and went to school at night. The work on the farm was for his dad, so we basically worked for housing at that time and a monthly wage that got us by. We were appreciative of those blessings, but it was not enough to put us through college and since all of our kids were now in school, it was time to go back to work. I can honestly say work was a piece of cake compared to being a stay-at-home mom. The husband and I had to learn to balance though. Just because I went to work "outside" of the home, didn't mean I needed to be a princess when I got home. We still took turns with dinner, laundry, and kid duties. It's easy to think that since they're working "at home" that they somehow get down time that you don't during the day.

We survived those years and still managed to have regular family council, regular church attendance, major church callings, and periodical FHE and all the other things that help the family. We were not perfect at all of it, but our unselfish desire to help each other achieve our dreams (both as a couple and as individuals) is what made the difference when things got tough. When you're short on money and big on dreams, you can sometimes get caught up in the world. The Lord is your ground wire. I remember some very valuable advice that I was given once as young mother. I was told that the best way to love my children, was to love their father. My husband was given the same advice (about loving their mother). My kids mean everything to me and this was so hard for me to hear that my little ones did not need me as much as my husband did. After that counsel though, I saw the wisdom day by day and changed my thinking. I had always loved him, but I had not always put him first.

As I look back now, I know that our openess with each other and our unselfishness has gotten us where we are today. We have realized so many dreams together. People look at us and think we have it good. We do. We earned it. It's called blessings. Now the balancing is different with all our children grown and married. Now I have to tell myself, "Love your kids and grandkids, but don't forget who comes first-- your sweetheart." So... we rearrange and reschedule to bring balance. We love our kids and grandkids so much. I need to see them each week and they fill my heart and life so much. I just have to know that when I choose to work and coach and fulfill other callings in life, I have to not overschedule to the point I forget about my sweetheart. And he has to do the same. Happily, we seem to adjust pretty quickly.

So.... that is Part I Lecture-- Finding Balance.
Tomorrow will be Part II-- Dieting. And now I am going to go eat a cookie my husband baked for me. :)

So you can't exactly see all the pumpkins, but what a cute family!

Getting it together

So yes, note the time on my post. Someone (it sounded suspiciously like one of my former bball girls) called at midnight (which on a Friday night is oddly not that odd) but from a phone I did not recognize, and asked if my refrigerator was running. They used a horrible Japanese accent and when I said, "I have two small boys asleep in the bed with me right now and you just woke them up," they said they were sorry and hung up. Now I remember those days of calling and even using those lame jokes, but it just wasn't nearly as funny tonight. Chubby, aka "Kayson" sat straight up in bed and began grinning-- like "it's play time!" Nope. It was mommy time. I gave him to mommy and went back to bed with only one little monkey left in my bed (the husband is gone to Riggins steelhead fishing with my brother and his best friend Ron) and he went right back to sleep. I have not been so fortunate.

So, when you overschedule your life, your house piles up, your frustrations pile up, and you are constantly tired. With only a couple more weeks left till basketball, I need to get my act together and declutter my time-- enjoy some relax time because there's little of that once the season begins. I have had some time to do some fun family things. I just need to get more sleep. Last night the big boys (my brother and husband) kept me up late as they were waiting for their big departure. It's always fun to visit with my brother though. I am so glad he's home. I love him very much.

Earlier this week I took Rellie and Kayson to the Berry Patch. Not on purpose. We were driving by on my way home and Kayson saw the huge pumpkins and started the caveman grunting and pointing. Krehl couldn't believe how big they were. We turned around and went back. It was a grandma moment.... you want that? Yeah? Okay. I have a lot of those with all my grandkids. :D So we have all these awesome pumpkins we grew this year and have a mini-pumpkin patch in front of our house (see family pic of son in mini-pumpkin patch before lrg. pumpkin was added) and there I was buying another pumpkin.... a 52 lb. pumpkin no less! And of course they didn't pick one of the normal, round ones like grandma tried to persuade them to pick. They had to have the lumpy, flat on one side one. It was a Charlie Brown "great pumpkin" moment. I will take pics tomorrow.

Tonight one of our elementary schools here in town put on their annual school carnival so we went out to support it and took Rellie and Kayson to do the game stuff. We had some good chili and scones there and the boys loved all the little games. Kayson won a cake in the cake walk and Rellie won a whoopee cushion in one of the games. Blowing it up was challenging because Mandy and I are latex challenged. I said, "I'm not blowing it up-- I'm allergic." She said she was too. I tried anyway. Lips started itching. Then tongue got little dots. Couldn't do it. Then she tried. He lips felt bigger. After all that, he sat on it and it didn't work. Wow! Not cool. I said I was having a movie star moment with the free enlarged lip treatment, but I felt more like Forest Gump.... especially when I talked.

I'm babysitting all of Jeremy's kids in the morning.... wait... it is morning... so he can take a test. Meanwhile.... papa is fishing. I'm feeling a girls trip coming on. Pray for the grandchildren. :)

Dilly Bars, Wal-mart, and Creepers

So this school week was short and productive. We started our To Kill a Mockingbird unit, so it was obvious to introduce the concept of "bias" to the students. So of course I had to have a little coffin to coincide with the upcoming holidays (thank you sweetie for building it out of the scraps I found in our garage). We studied bias and put it to "rest" in the coffin. One of the biases we talked about was appearance bias. I had a picture of a young Bill Gates and a 20ish Ted Bundy on the intro slide for that type of bias, but no names on the pics. I had them tell me words that came to mind as they looked at each of these guys. "Nerd" was the most popular word for Bill Gates. For Mr. Bundy most of them used things liked 70ish, friendly (he was waving), and confident. One girl though said "creeper" and even retracted when she saw the picture. Now that girl has some good intuition (as they all discovered when I revealed the names)! And I learned a new labeling term... "creeper"! We also discussed how we can be bias against our own appearances. Here is an excellent video link I used for this part: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuDwHMpOMe4&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL641474EA41F6FBB3

We covered a lot of other biases, including race bias, but I was surprised how many high school students didn't even know what the word meant. How do you get literature like To Kill a Mockingbird when you don't understand basic concepts like bias? Well, they do now. :)

So Thursday night was boys night. All four grandsons spent the night. So yesterday when we woke up Tucker and Bryton were excited for grandma to cook them their usual bacon, scrambled eggs, and toast. However, Aunt Mandy had purchased some "turkey" bacon for us to try and I tried it on the kids. Tucker took a bite and look puzzled (I didn't tell them anything so they were expecting "normal" bacon). He took another bite and sat it down on his plate. "Something wrong?" I asked. Then I took a bite. Okay..... not the same. Not even close. It was like eating turkey jerky that's super thin. It was just weird. I told them it was turkey bacon and they were all relieved. Apparently they thought grandma was just turning in to a bad cook! We all agreed that we would cook "normal" bacon next time! Love you Aunt Mandy!

Aunt Mandy was off to the Harvest Festival in Emmett. She has a booth there. Greg and Uncle Stacy helped her get set up so I had my hands full in the morning with four little boys running and squealing and bouncing and being boys. After I got baths finished, the kitchen cleaned, and beds made up, the papa finally returned so I could get a shower and head to my physical therapy appt. My PTist told me I was his worst patient. No really, he did. I tried to tell him my right leg is almost an inch longer than my left, but like all PTist before him, he thought he could fix it so for the last two days in a row he has been "working on my back" to get my legs the same length. Yesterday he told me I may have been born that way. Asked me if I'd had polio when I was little. I told him, "not that I know of". I don't think he understands how it was "back in the day". We didn't exactly run to the doctor all the time. Who knows what caused it, but seems like I could have been born that way? Anyway, my back is sore from all the "fixing" and I'm skeptical about why I'm doing 2X a week for the next 3 weeks if that's the problem, but we shall see because my back is definitely not getting better. I also bought shoe inserts to even out the height discrepancy.

So after my doctor visit we loaded the little boys up in papa's truck and headed to town. Of course papa has to get them ice cream so we stopped at DQ and they had their first dilly bars. Bryton slept through that whole experience so we made the mistake of giving chubby (Kayson) his Dilly Bar. When it was about to slide off onto the floor from all of his baby type wild eating, papa took it from him and he had to actually wrestle it from him, then chubby had a class 10 melt-down. The child loves dilly bars! Tucker also announced that Dilly Bars were better than the normal ice cream cones we usually get and that they were his new favorite. I told him his dad used to love them too.

Then we headed to the garden to do some clean up. It's that time of year. Last of the harvesting and time to put away the hoses in case it starts freezing. The last few days have been wet and cold. Not freezing, but so much colder than the 90 degrees we had just last week. We picked almost all the pumpkins (a few were still a little green), the rest of the watermelon, the umpteenth batch of cucumbers, all the red tomatoes and Greg pulled some cornstalks to use for decoration. The rest will be hauled off be a neighbor who has some horses. It feel so good when we harvest things. That farmer feeling never gets old...even when I'm pulling weeds. I strangely like it.

As we were harvesting, chubby and Rellie played on the patio and Tucker ran about selecting the biggest pumpkins for himself and Maddi. Then I saw the neighbor across the road pull up. The aunties told me he is nice and helps them with shoveling in the winter and stuff like that, so I had Greg ask him to come over and take some things off our hands (out of the garden). There was an older man with him and he came too. Turns out it was his dad. We got to talking and I told him that I used to live in his house when I was little (in the 60's). I showed him which room was mine. He said it was his daughter's room now and told me about the changes in the house. I also told him about my little red wagon and how I used to collect bottles then turn them in for candy at the store, but that I didn't know where that store was anymore. The dad said, "Yeah, it used to be right there on the corner, but they had torn it down." That explained it. The guy had lived in my old house 14 years now. It was a fun conversation as he explained things about the house and we shared our histories with it. It made me realize how quickly life passes and yet how long ago it has been since I was a child. It made me feel old, yet brought back some memories.

Then the Mexican lady down the street saw us and came over. I told her the corn leaves weren't fresh anymore (we gave her some last time), but that she could pick some pumpkins for her kids and take as many tomatoes and cucumbers as she wanted. We threw in a watermelon too. Then we wrapped up the hoses as the aunties came home from the doctor. Aunt Joann is having some bad headaches, so they went to her "headache" doctor. She's also in the two cane stage (one of them being the cane Bobby got her from Iraq) so Bertie said she'd taken a fall last week. I suggested maybe she should start using her walker more. She laughed. All right then. We need to get back over there and start on organizing and decluttering the house and getting the shelves up. Next week maybe. I picked six pumpkins and placed around their doorsteps. They liked that too.

After the garden we headed to Wal-mart to get stickers. When we pulled up to the Wal-mart chubby said one of his first clear words besides mama and papa..... Wal-mart! Clear as day, he said it more than once. Leave it to Mandy's kids! :) Once in there, we headed to the drive through scary alley, but they had removed the top black tarp, so it wasn't that scary anymore. Apparently it was too scary for some? Then we headed to the Halloween section. Of course papa had to split off from us with Chubby in the cart and then sneak up on us and scare us knowing Rellie would be petrified. Which he was. Yet, he's the one who wanted to go to that section. Then I found the masks. Rellie high-tailed it out of the section in a hurry. I put on the old wizard masked and met him on the other corner. He ran to papa and hid behind him. I bought the mask. A wizard mask is one to add to the collection. I also found a rapping desk witch that dances. Had to have that for my desk. They all loved that one-- even Rellie. The boys got their stickers and we left.

We delivered pumpkins to both the boys and traded Bryton and Tucker for Daisha. Maddi was not crazy about the wizard mask and wasn't even sure about the dancing witch, so I gave her my bag of animal cookies to calm her down. She also liked her pumpkin. I forgot to mention that they came over earlier before my doctor's appt. and Jas and I worked on his lesson plans. They had lunch with us and Maddi and kayson are getting so good about the whole sharing thing. They were very cute. Maddi and Abbi will be back today when their mom and and dad go out for an early anniversary celebration. It'll be Abbi's first time alone with mem and papa. Wish her luck! :)

The weekends go so fast now that summer is gone. Kind of sad. Lovin' the leaves and autumn colors though! Think we'll go see the daughter in Emmett today and check out the harvest festival.

L.I.G.

More parents showed up on the second day of P/T conferences though with only 20% of parents showing, it's still disappointing that so many parents don't come. Of course our politicians have made it clear that it's not the parents' fault when kids don't learn-- it's the teachers! Oh well.... L.I.G.

I wrote that on my hand more than once last year. It's actually pretty effective and much needed when you're also menopausal! L.I.G stands for "Let it Go" and also reminds me that either some things aren't going to change, or there are bigger fish to focus on. In this case-- some things will never change. I am thankful for the parents who cared enough to come.
I also found LIG most useful when having menopausal pity parties/rants. Okay, if I said, "Yeah honey, go ahead and buy that fourth football gold card (which is a step up from the $10 lightbulbs he bought one year when we were very poor) when the chubby cheeked came door-to-door selling them, then I couldn't spend the next two days going off about something I said it was okay for him to do. Kind of like when he went hunting one time and I kept saying, "No, go ahead" then he paid for it for the next two weeks. So yeah, I occasionally forget that, but mostly now I do keep it sane, let it go, and apologize when I get a little too bulldogish about little things. I've learned to recognize my menopausal rages a little quicker. I had one a week ago at a most inopportune time. But then, thank goodness for progress, I recognized and it and apologized to him. Life is too short and some things just don't matter that much.

On the other hand, sometimes he is a total dorkbucket and needs to be told so. :) We both are imperfect, but our love is the stuff movies (including comedies) is made of. Love you sweetie. We do have the X factor in our favor--the Lord is the X factor. We are both accountable to Him and not just to each other. And that, as Mr. Frost would say, "has made all the difference." :)

So on a less serious note, I went to a high school football game with the sweetie this weekend and really enjoyed it. The ambiance of a high school football game on a warm September night is nostalgic. The lights on the field, the students in their school colors, the onions frying on the grill. Yes, they had fried onions for their burgers. And the community that proudly wears each school's colors. People who think education is all about the data, just don't get it. They don't get why American education is so... American. Wait... how did I go back to that topic.
So the football game was nice. I liked it. The hubby's team won.

The next day he got to go to the BSU game and came home with a half-sunburned face. He took my brother and his brother with him and they looked quite comical walking in the door half sizzled on their face. My brother also wore his sunglasses so he sported the added "raccoon effect" as well. Still, despite BSU's not-so-awesome offense, the boys enjoyed the "experience". Plus I think they'll be cured for a while. They also stopped and visited the aunties who have been dying to see my brother since he returned from Iraq.

While they were gone, I got some laundry done and Rellie painted his pumpkin (among other things that did not make mommy happy) :) Chubby went ripping down the sidewalk and faceplanted. I went for a jog. I'm paying for it today. Ow! We also watched conference. Awesome talks! Oh, and I started writing yet another book. I hope I finish this one. Then.... we went and picked up to two little girls-- Maddi and Jilly. They are the cutest little cousins. They had a gigglefest that would have melted the hardest heart on the way home. Mandy fixed their hair this morning then we took them for a walk. The picture above is them coming home from their walk. They are SO adorable.

I can't believe it's Monday in the morning already!