So I seem to fight two never-ending battles that I am going to declare non-battles. Yes, you can do that. They're just life. To view them as battles denotes my lack of understanding.... until now. I need to quit qualifying them as something to do on my to-do list. They are .....balance and dieting. They are natural parts of life.
Balance. It's not rocket scientist material-- all work and no play makes Jeremy a sick boy. Sorry Jer. You are your mother's son and I had to throw that out there. Another chip off the block...... All work and no play (family time) also makes Jason a sick boy (tired, drained, etc.) I'm picking on the boys today Mandy-- you're off the hook-- even though you left me .... :D I feel responsible for modeling the "push it" behavior. Squeeze in one more thing. Be the best. Do your best. Put others first. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. I believe those principles, all of them... but we have to find balance in them. I have THE BEST children God could have given me. I mean that SO MUCH, which is why I bring up specifics. :D We can all learn from it.... .which is what this blog is about.
Balance. I have a great video I'll put on here that pretty much says it all and the "extra" stuff that we are doing is mostly all "good" stuff, but we have to council together as couples, families, and extended families, to trim back that list if it becomes too much. I remember when I went to work outside of the home, but first, let me talk about the work inside of the home. It was THE HARDEST and MOST REWARDING WORK I HAVE EVER DONE. Some days were very long being married to a farmer. Sometimes I felt like a single parent. And... it's pretty hard to say, "okay, I've been home with them all day, now it's your turn." That's when I first started understanding the significance of "balance" and so did my sweetie.
He could see that I needed a kid break and alone time (which he got on the tractor) and I could see that he needed down time and appreciation (which he got from me). He also needed time with the kids. That is why it's so important to council and plan together and discuss these very things in a very unselfish way. Thank goodness he is unselfish. He could tell when I needed him to be all about the kids when he got home and I could tell when he had had a very long day at work and needed extra pampering. It wasn't always perfect. Sometimes I cried with the three little ones on days I felt like I wasn't getting it all done and they were having a bad day too, but what kept me going was our common goals and dreams and our unselfish love and respect for each other. Our third party coach-- The Lord-- was also quite helpful. :)
When we moved and the youngest child entered school, I went back to work to support the husband as he went through college. By support I mean both economically and emotionally. I had to believe in his dreams. I had to be his cheerleader. He had to believe in mine (going to work and school too) and be my cheerleader. He also worked on the farm and went to school at night. The work on the farm was for his dad, so we basically worked for housing at that time and a monthly wage that got us by. We were appreciative of those blessings, but it was not enough to put us through college and since all of our kids were now in school, it was time to go back to work. I can honestly say work was a piece of cake compared to being a stay-at-home mom. The husband and I had to learn to balance though. Just because I went to work "outside" of the home, didn't mean I needed to be a princess when I got home. We still took turns with dinner, laundry, and kid duties. It's easy to think that since they're working "at home" that they somehow get down time that you don't during the day.
We survived those years and still managed to have regular family council, regular church attendance, major church callings, and periodical FHE and all the other things that help the family. We were not perfect at all of it, but our unselfish desire to help each other achieve our dreams (both as a couple and as individuals) is what made the difference when things got tough. When you're short on money and big on dreams, you can sometimes get caught up in the world. The Lord is your ground wire. I remember some very valuable advice that I was given once as young mother. I was told that the best way to love my children, was to love their father. My husband was given the same advice (about loving their mother). My kids mean everything to me and this was so hard for me to hear that my little ones did not need me as much as my husband did. After that counsel though, I saw the wisdom day by day and changed my thinking. I had always loved him, but I had not always put him first.
As I look back now, I know that our openess with each other and our unselfishness has gotten us where we are today. We have realized so many dreams together. People look at us and think we have it good. We do. We earned it. It's called blessings. Now the balancing is different with all our children grown and married. Now I have to tell myself, "Love your kids and grandkids, but don't forget who comes first-- your sweetheart." So... we rearrange and reschedule to bring balance. We love our kids and grandkids so much. I need to see them each week and they fill my heart and life so much. I just have to know that when I choose to work and coach and fulfill other callings in life, I have to not overschedule to the point I forget about my sweetheart. And he has to do the same. Happily, we seem to adjust pretty quickly.
So.... that is Part I Lecture-- Finding Balance.
Tomorrow will be Part II-- Dieting. And now I am going to go eat a cookie my husband baked for me. :)
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