I don't know why I think in metaphors and analogies. It seems to worsen with age. So I was driving down the road thinking I needed to clean my car. With all my transitions this past year, my car has sort of been one of my constants (like my love for my husband). I've almost lived in it at times going back and forth across the state to visit the spouse, and changing my living arrangements, and hauling clothes, furniture, books, and odds and ends (including grandchildren) from point A to point B. In the process.... it could really use a cleaning. But... I make sure I drive it carefully. I don't like to goose it or get it past 3rpms. I like my tires checked and I keep it serviced. I have hardly had any problems with it. So... it may not always look as spotless in appearance, but I don't put cheap gas in it, I allow the grandkids to eat and breath in it, and I take care of the important stuff. So what's my point? I'd like my car to look nice, but more importantly, I'd like it to get me from point A to point B and do it without me stressing about a smudge on the window or a small spot on the seat. I want to enjoy my journeys.
But..... I'd like it to run well. If I was on top of things, it'd run well and look good... but with all my transitions right now... not happening. That's why it takes teamwork. We did take it through the car wash, but it's hauled a lot of grandkids this summer so it needs a good cleaning and a good tune-up so it'll keep taking care of me. Marriage is like that. Plus... some people have these nice (sometimes non-functional) cars but no one is allowed to eat, breathe, or sometimes even ride in them... they're strictly for show and for making the driver look good. Some people have marriages like that-- they appear one way and really they're another. Some people go extreme the other way and never take care of their car at all and it's always breaking down. Some marriages are like that. They don't understand that you have to do upkeep and you have to take care in how you treat it. Then there are those who keep the looks of the car up, but either don't care or don't have a clue about how to keep the car running right either. Those are the people who want the marriage, but don't want to do the work to keep the marriage running right.
See... cars ARE like marriage. I've decided I have a very down to earth marriage. Much like my practical car. The car gets messy at times because we use it so much, but we take care of it and we work on the upkeep of it together. I feel safe in my car too. My husband takes care of me and even though we make each other crazy here and there over the past 30 years... there has never been a doubt about our endless love for each other. We could probably be better about some things, but we love life and actually living it. We are just real people. We are best friends. I'm going to clean my car out tomorrow (ran it through the car wash this weekend), but if you see it getting dirty, don't think it's because I don't take care of it... I just live in it. :D And no, I'm not saying it's okay to be slobs... just don't get too hung up on material things at the expense of spiritual things. And... if it breaks down, figure out a way to fix it together. And.... if the fixing is complicated, take it to a third party professional (counseling) to get it fixed. Sometimes, do-it-yourself fixes to save money end up costing you more in the long run. But most importantly, just do the little things to take care of it along the way and you'll have fewer problems and get more out of your car/marriage.
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