spreading ashes

Well today was a first. I have never "spread ashes" before. None of us had done that so it was the blind leading the blind. No pun intended. Debbie went and picked up the two aunties and they made their way to the plot in the cemetery. Double-fisted with the canes and cute as ever. About like they were Saturday when we went to check on the garden. They were still in their hair rollers and housecoats. Hadn't got dressed all day and didn't seem to have plans to. :D I already have days like that so I guess I can say it hereditary.

So back to the ashes. We joked about getting him "all shook up" (he did love Elvis) because we weren't sure how to "appropriately" do the spreading. Then Aunt Joann made us "Pose and dump" the ashes so she could have pictures. She takes pictures of "everything". She always has. We used to laugh because we knew she might chop off one of our heads in the pictures because she was talking and laughing when she took the picture and every one of us grandkids had to pose either by the piano or the little "photobook" table. And guess what? The piano and the photo table are still int he same spot 40 years later. They have never moved them. First she had one of those cameras that had the big blaring spotlight that blinded you. Then she moved up to the polaroid. You would think that by now she'd be at the digital camera stage, but today we used the disposable click and wind to the next picture. I am thankful though for all her picture taking. As we poured over the albums to find pictures for the memorial service it was truly a walk down memory lane. She is a family historian.

Then the aunties started joking about their own plots. "Better start planting our tree now." Then they'd laugh. They had Debbie bring one of those metal watering cans and water down the ashes when we were finished so Bob wouldn't blow away. Debbie is so kind. She did it. Then when Joann noticed she missed a few spots, she went and filled the can up again. She really has been there for our aunties more than anyone. I appreciate her and her genuine kindness.

It was another "auntie experience" today. More memories and so much more healing through laughter and remembrence of someone passed on. He continues to bring us together in his death. It also made me reflect on the importance of what we will leave behind. As I sat reading headstones, waiting for the aunties to arrive, I was amazed by the history around me. So many family markers -- our family-- going back to the 1800's. Later I asked Aunt Bertie how some of them managed to get permission to plant the irises and rose bushes around their headstones. She said that the story passed on to her about that was that the ones buried there had planted them thinking that family members would not travel that far to visit their grave and they wanted to make sure there were flowers on their graves. That's when the aunties said they better plant their tree now.

All the "family" stuff caused me to do some more reflecting again and helped me with some decisions of my own. Oh..... before I forget.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKIE! :d